Posted by
skep41 on Saturday, May 24, 2008 11:42:24 AM
Well,
the medical records have been released and they show that John McCain
is healthy as a horse; a really old horse that used to have cancer. Oh
THAT. Its
probably not
going to be a problem. After all, his form of skin cancer was caused by
excessive whiteness, certainly a talking point when you're running
against Barak Obama and trying to lock down the Angry White vote. But
as the old boy totters around talking about Global Warming and trading
epithets with Obama you have to wonder if any medical report can smooth
over the fact that he's just too damned old.
Lets be fair. The
others havent released their medical records yet and there are some
important medical issues that pose seroius problems for the others.
With
Hillary we can be sure that her blood pressure is probably OK and the
multiple shots of her butt that the media delight in showing us lately
have proven that there's no spinal or muscular problems but the records
we might be asking for these days are her psychiatric results. She's
staying in the race because Robert Kennedy got shot in June and
you never know?
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean, say no more! This puts the
Bosnian sniper hallucinations in a whole new light. Thinks a lot about
bullets flying does she? If Obama wanted to finish her off today he
would hie himself off to Fort Marcy Park, stand on the hillside where
they found Vince Foster's body, rip open his shirt and yell, "Here I am
Mrs. Clinton!" Of course, nobody has the nerve to tempt fate like that.
Its amazing that Clinton (once described as The Smartest Woman In The
World!) could be so stupid. Maybe she should release the results of her
IQ test while she's at it. Could whatever strange virus that turned
Bill into a bug-eyed,shouting, purple-faced loony, whose recent
announcement of Chelsea's candidacy for 2016 has made
him
a viable candidate for a heavy course of Thorazine or horse
tranquilizers, be contagious? Hillary has also put her health in grave
jeopardy in the event she ever is within swinging distance of Michelle
Obama. There never was much love lost between them in the first place
but this has certainly sealed the deal. And if Michelle needs any help
to clobber the loquacious Hillary Nancy Pelosi and Howard Dean will be
happy to pin the wife of the Former First Black President's arms back
while Michelle lands a haymaker.
Should Barak release his medical
records? Well, look at him. He doesnt look like he's about to keel over
any time soon. He might be slowed down by the twenty pounds of body
armor they'll be strapping on him in case Hillary's payment to the
Bosnian sniper is non-refundable; you know, like Lee Van Cleef in 'The
Good The Bad and The Ugly,"Funny thing is, once I've been paid for a
job I always carry it out."
But Baraks' problems arent medical. He
makes the most amazing gaffes. He's been to all 57 states. Iran is a
tiny nation one day, our most powerful enemy the next. People worry
that he might have picked up radical ideas in the left-wing
universities he attended but now they should worry about what he
didnt pick
up-- like any notion of geography or economics. He's physically fit for
the presidency but intellectually? He says shallow, ridiculous things
and then contradicts them the next day with other shallow, ridiculous
things until you get the idea that he is basically shallow and
ridiculous. He hasnt ever said anything that shows any glimmer that he
perceives the need for a strategic vision that would work to underpin
the vigorous pursuit of our national interests, or even that we have
any legitimate national interests which need to be pursued vigorously
or otherwise, except a pathetic desire that foreigners like us more. The reports we want to see from Barak are reports on how
he would deal,
specifically,
with our pressing long and short term problems, information thats
harder to come by than the donor records for the Clinton Lie-Berry and
Massage parlor.
So, I guess the only thing to do is for me to go to
MY doctor
and ask him for a bottle of valiums so that when all of America's
chickens come home to roost, as the good Reverend has prophesied, I'll
be smiling and ready for the New Age.