Posted by
skep41 on Tuesday, October 30, 2007 11:57:49 AM
In
a TV interview our esteemed Governator said that marijuana isnt a drug,
its a leaf. When is a leaf not a leaf? Dude, when its a drug! Now this
caused me some consternation; so much so that I dropped my pipe in mid-hit
and a burning ember put a totally giant hole in my Ronald Reagan
T-Shirt. Dont you hate when that happens? I mean I got totally turned
around; after all cocaine comes from a leaf, so I guess when you
process it it turns into a drug. But then does that make hashish a
drug?And heroin comes from a plant but not from the leaves so that is
actually totally a drug. Amphetemines come from Sudafed, which isnt a
plant or a leaf. But what about Peyote buttons and mushrooms? Here,
wait, left me fire up my pipe and I'll get back to you on this complex
problem. AHHHHHHHH..... I've decided that I dont give a crap.
In the
60's we used to often recite the wise adage, "Dope will get you through
times of no money better than money will get you through times of no
dope." Social Security is going broke, taxes are about to rise to
levels that would make a serf in the Middle Ages go ballistic and lets
face it, whatever small niches of the economy that will remain
unnationalized wont be functioning very well, so we're looking at
massive unemployment and a worthless currency. Now this situation might
upset some people but we're just a few bong-hits away from it all being
OK. We just update the old bread-and-circus routine that the Roman
Empire invented to an internet-food stamps-sensemilla regime and just
Chill Out! We can even download Arnold's movies, some of which are
stoner classics (Conan 1&2 and the 2 Terminators, for example). Our
truncated and wasted military and our nationalized energy companies
will take the threat of stoned drivers off the table by immobilizing
most automobile traffic;in fact, unused Hummers and Navigators would
make totally awesome places to toke, the sound systems could be powered
by solar panels on the roof. So, like, in this next Depression instead
of getting all depressed and stuff like those old dudes did in the
1930's, lets just kick back and enjoy! Oh yeah, we could also include
Vicoden and Valiums in the Free Health Care because they go really good
with smoking dope.